Reignition of an old flame
Kindling made of dreams
Sparks of memory
Recaptured in your elegance
The shifting sands of time
Drifting down from the sky
The constellations that are your thoughts
Outline and connect our conversations
A web of carefully chosen aspirations
Being within a moment of your time and grace
Fulfills a passion
A bottomless lake
A source of life reignited by simple words
I swallow my words and choke on the verbs,
As if freedom was an action and not something you heard,
These nouns of mine fill my mouth like wine,
I’m drunk with people, places and time
And I’m moving around to some places I’ve found,
Escaping a ghost that is still trapped in these notes,
Some broken chords, the confused words of some type of meaning
When I think I’ve slipped away, like the moon its last phase,
I come back to this page
And try to fill it in
I’m walking or strumming a reality I’ve lost,
Progression or simply moving
Haven’t given it much thought
Something I’ve been listening to. I don’t know what it is about being personal, but thank you Dear Reader for baring with me. You’ve been the greatest sense of solace. And I want to take the time to appreciate you. I know that all of my recent posts have been not-so-informative. But it is the simple fact of having you there, Imaginary friend, through every step. I want to let you know that you are what helps me through the nothing. The further.
Thank You Dear Reader.
There isn’t anything you can’t do or anywhere you can’t go when you have the drive to do them. Or, at least, if you can drive.
Dear Cha-Cha,
If you ever read this know that it was my fault. I made mistakes and there is no act of contrition that would make it better. You’re gone and its tough to keep being reminded of you. In everything. Songs. Trees. Food. It all brings me back to a memory of you. I sit here, knowing that I should have been different. I miss you singing to me new songs you found on the internet. I should have played Magic: the gathering when you kept asking. I should have gave you that massage. But it’s all over.
I thought that it wouldn’t hurt so much, but it does. Knowing that you’re probably having a good time with him makes me so angry. He was my friend. I should have been different. I should have loved you more and not let my thoughts get in the way.
The only reason why I’m wearing my heart on my sleeve right now is because I need to get it out. I love you. I miss you. And there’s nothing I can do about it. I keep checking my e-mails to see if you’ve replied, even though I know I will hear the notification sound when I get a new one. Always hoping that it’ll be you.
I tried playing some songs that we used to sing together on the guitar, and stop less the halfway because it’s just too much and I get all choked up… and as silly as it sounds, I miss when we messed up with the lyrics.
The last night that we were in the same place, I heard you howling and having a great time. While I lay there in the dark, while you had fun, I fought with myself for hours, laying awake, trying to make sense of a decision that would benefit you. Fighting a losing battle, I know in my heart of hearts that it was the right thing to do. You would be better off without me… so I left.
So here I am. So it goes. I love you Cha-Cha. You treated me so well, only now do I understand what I had. So it goes.
If you ever read this, just know that you deserve the best. Someone that will treat you the way you treated me. Someone that will be passionate about loving you. Don’t accept anything less. Goodbye and see you on the other side.
Sincerely and with love,
Sonny
Dear Reader, I have successfully become a WWOOFer. Due to my recent situation, I found it necessary to get my ass in gear. I could have felt sorry for myself a lot more and just been in a rut until my money was all spent, but I figured out that this is the quickest way to get back on a farm like I said I would. Waiting in vain is something that my old self would have relished in, but I can see that that won’t help me this time. Not like it ever has.
So in true travelling spirit, I will venture off alone into this wonderful new community and share my experiences with you Dear Reader. You have inspired me, and because of you’re comments, you have made me realise that I do need to cultivate myself in order to achieve enlightenment. Romantic love and Greater love(love of self or spiritual love) are both love and I recognise that they are same. So thank you Dear Reader, for affirming that for/with me.
I hope that everything goes smoothly, and I will be typing down my adventures as they come along. Even though I still feel the emotional tears of my heart, I can’t let that stop me from being the best that I can be and to help provide information and skills to my community. I’m currently working on my WWOOF profile’s “about me” and I’m not exactly sure of what to write. So off to the forums I go, and until next time, Dear Reader, thank you again for stopping by.
post scriptum(p.s.) I am putting it out in the universe that I really want to land in a place that specialises in pepper plants or at least has a lot of peppers to take care of and if you know of any place Dear Reader, I’ll be more then happy to help out! Anyways, Cheers!
I was digging a hole where the apple tree would be and I came upon a spherical rock. As I inspected the stone, I noticed that there were layers on it. I set it aside and continued to dig the site for the apple tree. I set in the compost mixed with local soils and cleared a bit of the area of the little brush that was there and planted the tree. It was rewarding. I picked up the rock that I set off to the side and took it back up to the house to show my SO.
I decided to place the rock in an old shirt and smash it with a hammer,(even though there is a water pressure cutter…) (anyway) Lo, and behold! A geode. It is small, but was worth the work of digging up some Earth to put in a tree to bare fruit one day.
The primary reason that I share this post with you Dear Reader is so that when you find yourself outside doing something that you love, you might find something beautiful even if you’re not necessarily looking for it. It may just find you.
Also, I would like to share 2 future projects that I will be posting photos of and describing a walk-through as I go along. Step by step instructions (if you will) :
These 2 things are great for any space to start off a garden and hopefully with a little effort and help I’ll be able to get these things done in the next week or so. I will keep you updated and we’ll be able to see the progress of the different herbs and vegetables that will be growing. Maybe you can share with me some of your inventions or projects!
Permaculture_Ghost 