As I Sit

I stare at a blank screen. My mind is the same as that white emptiness. Words seem hollow as the grasp of desperation binds my insides. Wanting nothing more, then to be held. Aching muscles. Burning skin. Wandering eyes. Looking for something that is tangible. Awaiting deliverance…. 

… is what I would type down if I had enough to say about it. Otherwise, it’s all just a garbled bunch of words that don’t make any sense. I mean, to me they might. But I don’t think it’s very fun to read. Anyway, Dear Reader, thank you for being here. I find solace in the fact that at least what I have to say might cross paths with someone who is sane. Not to say that I am not, but lately, I have had a bit of trouble coping with reality.

It just doesn’t make sense. I mean, I have everything that someone could ask for, a job and a place to live. Food and water. A car. Etc, you get the picture. Yet, I find myself wanting something else. What it really boils down to is the fact that I wish to share it all with someone. I understand that I have my friends here, but dealing with someone for an extended period of time, especially those who don’t really understand you, can be very difficult.

There is only a few of us here at the moment, and we get along well. We hardly ever have disagreements and almost never argue. I would say that we have a pretty good relationship. At the same time, we all have our own perspectives on things and sometimes it just doesn’t help to bring it up. I guess we’ve all chosen to just keep everything running smoothly without causing problems. And I feel like I’ve just been following orders instead of being asked about my well-being. So much so, that I think I need to seek a counselor or something. Someone to talk to.

If only I was a better person throughout my life, I could beck on some comrades. But lo, I sit here alone with only my thoughts and my daydreams. Not giving in to wishing for something. That is an exercise in futility. So it goes….

Anyway, Thank You Dear Reader for your time.


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