Let me cut to the chase, Dear Reader, I have had a romantic rendezvous with a gorgeous girl. To describe her briefly, she was (or is I should say) bright and funny. And I can help to think really nerdy in subtle ways. She laughed at my jokes and made it fun to hang out. Her beauty was that which inspired in me a new outlook on the temporance of age.
Although now, the resentment for my stupidity about the situation has all but grown. It is my fault however. The falling out is what is getting to me.
Perhaps its the fact that I havent had a connection in a long time, if you could even call it a connection. Knowing that I am one of many is kind of disheartining. However, it is just as well.
Falling for someone who really isn’t interested in you, or at least only interested mostly on a surface level like sex and physical attractions, is tough. And one would think that one would know by now. Well, that isn’t the case.
The truth is, it was discussed openly and I went for it anyway. Not knowing that I was going to connect so well… Or at least in my mind I did. Which again was a mistake. It was just something about her. Even if we were just friends with benefits for a brief moment.
My question is, “do people normally fall for others for such simple things?”
An example would be the way she would swing back and forth with her fingers in her belt loops. Wearing her glasses and smiling at me. Being able to hold someone is nice. But when it effects your capacity to function, it has become something more out of control.
I won’t kiss and tell more than I already have, but I will say that the amount of lust was overwhelming. In both good and bad ways. It was everything I wanted and more. If I was one to be putting down my sex life, it would be a very long post.
I understand that this blog is about cohesive relationships and Permaculture and gardening/farming, but this is part of all that. Having a sound mind and being able to express one’s self is important. Without a platform to do this, things may go south quickly.
As of right now you, Dear Reader, are the only one I’ve told these things too. And yes, I know I should talk to someone around me, but with everyone so busy all the time, I don’t think I want to put my problems on others when they may have their own. If someone were to ask, I’d spill my guts. But for now, talking to strangers just seems appropriate.
Thank You Dear Reader for your time and patience.